My name is Manu and I cry over my fate and destiny each day of my life. Why God is so unfair to give perfect world to some and few like me are totally screwed and hopeless? I wish to just lock myself in a room and never come out of it. If there are some magical powers in this world which I am sure is unrealistic but just to console myself, I wish those wizardly beings turn me from a despondent and dejected zero to shinning hero. If not that at least turn me into a normal person. Ok not much, at least get me a girlfriend. Oh! Just forget it, it’s never going to happen and you know why? Just take a look at one single day of my life and then you know what I am saying.
It was another morning in my life. Oh sorry, in my drab and dull life. Friends call me dumbo. Oh sorry again, I don’t have friends either except Ajax, though he cares for me but I hated him because everyone in the colony hates him. People recognize me as a grim personality and I usually struggle a lot to escape their presence. You guessed it right; I am a book worm with suppressed and muffled life, tired of my parent’s despotism. I wish to have someone one day with whom I can share my thoughts. I wish to be appreciated, I wish to look cool and handsome and get rid of this clumsy stupid image of me. Oh! I forgot; wishes are just to be dreamed in my life, they never come true.
It was beginning of a new month and I was going to get pocket money from my dad. I woke up early, took a bath, got ready and was looking forward for right time to remind my dad that the new month has begun. I just went near to him, made a sincere facial gesture and said “Dad, it’s a new day of a new month, how refreshing!” He just ignored me and went passed by. My mother understood what I intended. She went inside the room following my dad. After few minutes, she came with money in her hand. I was exhilarated. She gave it to me, blessed me and advised to learn the value of money. I nodded and moved on. My dad called from back and said “now you are 22, you don’t earn, you don’t work to do household chores. What kind of son are you? When I was your age I used to work 14 hrs a day, ploughing, sowing and raising crops. That was the reason I was powerful and brawny. And just look at you, lean and flimsy.” I realised that I am again getting trapped of that arguments which usually spoils my mood and I end up either crying or running away. I decided to be quite. But my father continued “How unlucky we are to have you? It would have been much better to have a girl child than to have such ineffectual and pathetic son.” I couldn’t control and replied “Your time was different from this generation. Today there is lot of competition and requirement of mental skills to survive. How can I work like you in today’s world?” My father got angry and slapped me by saying” How dare you to talk like this. Don’t you have manners either? What a waste?” I just ran out from there crying.
If all the beatings that I had got from my father were given to British people during the fight of independence, they would have fled from our country at least two years early. Anyways, I was on the way to college. I really hate college especially because of Roni who never let me take a breath of peace and always ridicule me of my mannerism and naivety. As I was walking on the street, lots of thoughts passed my mind. Is there anything called God who can understand me and makeover my life. Everything I touch turns to scrap. Whatever I do ends up in another tragedy of my life.
As I was walking, I observed an astrologer’s shop which I had never acknowledged ever before. I just stopped by there for a while and suddenly I felt as if the sun stoke had hit me and I was about to get fainted. I over focused on my consciousness and pushed hard to resuscitate and got over it. Everything resumed to normal and as I moved on and a passer-by struck my shoulder head on with a great force. I waggled for a while and turned back and saw a person with piebald clothes and a red conical cap. It seemed he was either participating in some fancy dress or something or was some kind of sorcerer belonged to some other world. I just neglected that misdeed and moved on. In fact ignoring things was a part of my daily life. People affront and insult me often and I have no option other than to just pretend not to hear them. Also there are often times when I try to speak and people snub my talks and move on. So that was not a special thing that happened that morning.
Special was that moment when it was a free period in the college and in front of me was a girl named Radhika calling me with my name “Manu”. I just got stunned and very quickly came back to consciousness but again fell into suspicion and thought “is she really calling me”. I turned back and checked if there was someone behind me whom she might be calling. There was no one, the entire corridor was empty. She came near me and asked “wassup”. I was speechless. Somehow after a minute or so I managed to say “I m good”. She asked “would you like to have a cup of coffee”. I nodded nervously. We went to canteen. On the way I was still recollecting my last few minutes conforming that whatever I am feeling is not any kind of daydream. Very gently she said “this way”. My head was full of questions and yet in a non functional mode. I thought as if “God has rewritten my destiny and my fate is scrubbed by some kind of hallowed substances. Or is that varicoloured wizard who pushed me on the street has made some kind of magic to turn the stars of my fate in right direction.” She ordered two Cappuccinos. We waited till it was served. As the coffee arrived she took the sip and made a pleasant gesture while my each second of that period for me continued to be full of doubt. I thought if I should ask her have we ever met before? But that would rather be too gross and rude. She may leave me after that and I have to again go back into my bungled life. It’s better to accept this God’s grace and live it to the fullest. I paid the bill as quickly as I could, trying to impress her.
We moved from there. I gathered all my strength and asked her if she wanted to eat something. She said”let’s go for a movie”. I looked at her and she smiled. I thought “What does that smile means? Does she love me?” I was getting accustomed to the fact that I was roaming with a beautiful girl besides me, a total unknown situation to my mind and heart but it was a dream came true. I could see her love and care for me. I thought God only tests us with lots of hardships and then we get what we want. While on the way to theater, I was looking at her beautiful hands just by my thighs. Though I couldn’t gather strength to look at her face and talk but still I was full of joy. As soon as we stepped down of auto, I paid the tariff of auto and we moved on. There was a park on the other side and she asked me to just rest for a while in the park as we were early for the show.
As we entered the gate of that scarcely populated park, she held my hand and asked “do you love me?” Oh my God, what could I had said? I felt as if all the angels of heaven had landed on earth just to adore me. She came close to me, very close, her face facing me. She puckered her lips and moved even further. I closed my eyes and as if time had stooped for me for a while and then suddenly a force pushed me on the ground as if earth had slipped from its position. A moment later I realised it was a smashing outpour of water that ran all over me. I fell down and my specs and hearing aid was lost somewhere and couldn’t collect myself for a while. I thought as if the devils who were against God took their revenge from angels by punishing me with their weapons. Suddenly, there was lots of echoing sound in the park. I couldn’t get a word out of that barrage. I felt as if some cosmic rays from the farther universe interfered with my brain and made me suffer from MCS (Minimally Conscious State) disease. After a few minutes I revived back myself and found my spectacles and hearing aid after creeping few minutes on the ground.
When I stood up I saw a bunch of people all laughing at me. I was feeling ashamed and embarrassed at that condition of mine. It was Roni again and his entire gang all shouting “April fool”. Few seconds later I couldn’t control myself and just bursted into tears. They all moved one by one besides me, pushing and tugging me. Radhika came laughing and said “sorry dear it was a question of bet” and went passed by. I was left alone in that vicinity. I thought I would never be able to understand life or I just don’t fit in this world. For a few seconds my mind got inactive and I just lost the clutch of my mind and fell down on my knees. “Why I am like this? Why can’t I live a normal life?” I stopped thinking and just closed my eyes to console my inner pain. After a while I realised someone licking my arm. For that moment all my pain was gone. I was feeling a true affectionate love.
It was Ajax, my only friend in this cruel world, my sweet little puppy dog. I will ever be so grateful to have a faithful friend like you, Ajax.